Sometimes it's scary

Usually people have lots of "firsts". First kiss, first car, first appartment, first day of school... For me these days it's a lot of "lasts". Yesterday it was my last day as a sports editor with the company I've been working for almost the last two years. Today is the last time I'm doing my laundry with my own washing machine because on Sunday it will be gone. Sold. Like most of the stuff in my appartment. Sunday will be the last soccer match with the girls - not only the last game of the season but for me the last game in many months to come as well. And there will be more "lasts". The last day I'm sleeping in my appartment, the last choir practice...

All these things finally make me realize that my time here is almost over. In 38 days I'll be on my way to New Zealand. For one year. At least. It's not going to be the first time I'm far away from home (my home country). But unlike before this time I have absolutely no idea what's happening next.

When I went to the USA as an exchange student being only 16 years old I knew my time over there was limited. I had to go back and finish high school. Same a few years later when going to Australia. After half a year of interning and travelling in down under I had to go back to Germany and finish uni.

This time there is nothing left to finish. I'm going. Maybe for good? Who knows. Anything can happen. Is that scary? It is a little. But it also makes this experience a lot more exciting. There is no pressure. No limitations. Just freedom. The freedom of doing whatever I want.

Of course there are people I'm going to miss. Even some of the belongings I'm leaving behind will be missed. But missed doesn't mean forgotten. Remember that :-)


  1. Hey, stopp making me almost crying! Remember: Being sad by facing the end of something is like waering black skirt to a bright pink shirt: Black lights pink to its full glowing perfection and the sadness of the ending makes the beginning much more amazing, exciting and wunderfull. Everything will be great and if not: We are always there to support you - in germany or thousands of miles away.


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